Tag: love

Why I moped around today.

Why I moped around today.

When I started blogging, I decided that I’d never write out of obligation, just for the sake of posting every day. I don’t want this blog to be full of “fluff.” This summer was great, but left me a little worn down and with not much to say…Until…

Well, I turn 30 tomorrow, and I have a lot to say about it. 

Now, to all of you in your 40’s, 50’s and beyond, 30 is laughable. But today, I’m not laughing. 

Nor was I was this morning, when I spent a lot of time moping around. I’m so ashamed…

The Bearded Man finally called me out on it. He’ll be 40 in February, so he has little sympathy for my plight. He asked what was stressing me out so much, and it was hard to pinpoint exactly what it was. I shared that a lot of it was knowing that my “prime” is over. My prime childbearing years are coming to an end in 5-10 years. I’ll never look as good as I did “back then”, and frankly I didn’t even look that good back then. 😂  Can I have a do over?

 Don’t even get me started on the rapid slowing of my metabolism, and the collection of extra weight in the wrong places. I shared with my healthcare provider recently, that losing weight is so stinkin’ hard compared to 5-10 years ago. She gave me a knowing nod. When I shared my anxieties with The Bearded Man, he quickly replied in his southern accent, “Babe, just cuz ya turn 30, doesn’t mean ya gotta let yourself go!” He’s so right. He loves me no matter what, but I don’t have to let myself go. I’ll just have to walk a little more. Cut back on portions. Be more vigilant with the anti-aging products. Please tell that’s all I need to do…😊

I think my anxieties are stemming from feeling like it’s all “downhill” from here. I’m getting older. My kids are growing up way too fast. We haven’t built our dream house yet. We aren’t debt free yet. I haven’t done this or that…

But then, God gently started reminding me of all that I have accomplished with His grace and mercy. 

I’ve had the privilege of walking with God most of my life. He’s never abandoned me, even when I pushed Him away. He’s kept His loving hand on my life, even when I’ve struggled with fear and unbelief. Amazing love. 

I’ve been married to the love of my life for almost 10 years. We’ve surpassed the national average on how long most marriages last. We have our problems, but I can honestly say, marriage is getting better everyday. He loves me unconditionally and has never threatened to leave. I would’ve left me a long time ago. My heart still flutters a little when his truck pulls in the driveway in the evenings. There’s nothing like curling up with him at the end of a hard day. 

I’ve been blessed with 3 beautiful children on this Earth and 1 in heaven. Many women at my age are still questioning whether they will ever get to be Mother’s. My children make me crazy and bring me so much joy and happiness. I became a Mom at 22, and it was the best day of my life. 

There’s no doubt in my mind, that God made me a to be a Mother. We ordered Chinese tonight, and ate it outside to soak up the beautiful weather. These kiddos are so precious, and I can’t imagine life without them. 

I don’t have a brag worthy career, or a big pay-check, but I get to be both their Mother and their Educator. That is such a privilege, and I don’t take it lightly. Homeschooling is hard, and the paycheck stinks, but I am so incredibly blessed to be able to do it. 

I don’t have the body of my dreams, and it’s not likely I will anytime soon, but I’m healthy. I can take care of my kids, clean the house, go for walks, even run a little (just don’t make me), and I’m just fine. Praise God for good health, because not everyone has that in their lives. 

We may not have built our dream home, but we own a home. That in itself is a huge blessing and accomplishment. It keeps us safe and warm, and is full of laughter and too many toys. I wouldn’t have it any other way. 

We aren’t debt free yet, partly to our bad choices and partly to circumstances beyond our control, but we are working towards it together. We have a common goal in mind, and don’t fight about money. We just don’t have any. 😎

I haven’t traveled as many places as I imagined I would, but I have built a life I don’t feel like I need a vacation from. Sure, we enjoy the occasional weekend trip, but my life isn’t a constant state of waiting to “get away from it all.” 

We have friends and family that love and support us. I don’t surround myself with a slew of people, but have built quality relationships. 

By posting all of this, I’m not trying to humble-brag, but genuinely give God the glory for what He  has allowed in my 30 years. I know with His grace and mercy, my future doesn’t have to go “downhill” but as Tim McGraw once sang, “My next 30 years will be the best years of my life!”

That will be in your head all evening now. You’re welcome. 

Here’s to turning 30! 


Do you feel invisible? 

I have a superpower. I bet you didn’t know that, did you? And no, it has nothing to do with being able to talk on the phone, check my email, change a diaper and cook dinner at the same time. Let me explain…

A few years ago, I was hooked on a T.V. show that aired on ABC. It comically portrayed a middle class family. I liked that it showed what a “real” family functioned like….although some things were a bit exaggerated to make the show funny. 

One of the main jokes of the show revolved around the awkward teenage daughter. Sometimes it was scary how much I could relate to her as a teen, and not because she had bad hair and braces. 

She had a superpower. She was invisible. 

Not literally, of course, but in the sense that most of the population didn’t even know she existed. Or they chose not to. 

She’d go to class, and her teachers would ask, “Are you a student here?” 

She got forgotten and left out of a lot, not intentionally, but because nobody paid her any mind. She just didn’t have a personality that got her noticed.

I can so relate. It’s gotten to a point in my life where it’s comical. The Bearded Man has to laugh sometimes. He’s noticed it. It’s not in my head, guys 

I can be standing in line, and someone will come get in line right in front of me. 

I donated blood in a blood drive once, and the Head Honcho got up and thanked everyone but me. I didn’t mind, because I didn’t donate blood for the glory, but in my mind I was chuckling, “Yep…invisible.”

I was sitting in a staff meeting one time, and the person running the meeting said something about the two staff members in the back. Except, there were three, and I knew exactly who he was overlooking. Little miss invisible. 

I can be talking, and mid-sentence, get cut off like it never happened.

I remember struggling as a High Schooler with feeling invisible and left out. Once I got out of school and started working, things didn’t change a lot, but I started accepting it. 

As a new Mom, I felt like I was working so hard, changing diapers and staying up all night. At that point, I knew I was more invisible than ever. 

Except, I’m not. Maybe to the general population. But I have a Maker, who over the years has reminded me that I’m not invisible. Not to Him. 

Often at night, we get out a Praise and Worship Lullaby DVD, to help Elijah when he’s fussy. The lyrics to one song in particular always stand out to me. I can’t post the lyrics, because I don’t want to get sued, but basically it reminds me that my Maker formed me long ago and He is fully aware of my thoughts and tears. 

I think it’s amazing that the same Maker that gives me sunrises like this one, created little old me. 
Maybe you’re like me, and you feel invisible? 

Maybe you’re constantly hearing words like, “I don’t remember you?” and “Oh, we went to the same school?” Been there. 

It might hurt, or you’ve possibly accepted it, and chose to laugh it off as I have. Just know, that even when you’re overlooked and invisible to the rest of the world, you’re not to Jesus. He’s crazy about you. 

As I get closer to 30, and become more of a hermit, I’ve learned to use my invisible status to my advantage.  

I can leave social functions whenever I’m ready. I can fly under the radar like nobody’s business. It’s pretty awesome. 🙂 I doubt I’ll ever walk in a room and people think, “Oh golly, look at HER, she is gorgeous, and so hilarious.” Nope, the only thing that might get me noticed is a crying baby, or tripping over something. I knew The Bearded Man was the guy for me, because a week after not even technically meeting(long story), he remembered me, and wanted my phone number. As in, he actually noticed I was in the room. 

Hang in there, my invisible friend. What bothers you the most about yourself, may be your superpower. 

What about you? Do you ever feel invisible? Comment below, and share your story! 

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Cheap and Old

So for the first time since Elijah was born, the Bearded Man and I had a date. Just the two of us. He suggested that I get all dressed up, so that’s what I did. 

He wore camouflage.

What in the world?

We went to a popular chain restaurant that serves pasta. I used to go crazy for this restaurant, but based on our experience yesterday, we realized that we’ve gotten too cheap and old to cough up 40 bucks for dinner. When I quit my job to stay home with our firstborn, one of the first things to go was eating at restaurants. Over the years, I’ve learned to make things at home out of necessity. 

When we first arrived, we were seated right beside a large, noisy family. My worst nightmare. The Dad was blowing his nose while I tried to figure out what I wanted to order. That set the tone for our dinner. If you blow your nose while other people are eating, then stop. Just stop. I’m trying to eat, and all I can think about is your mucous. Stop. 

Our waiter was really sweet. He of course offered to get us each a glass of wine, and we just looked at each other like “yea right” and ordered peach tea. After he left to get our drinks, we dove in for the breadsticks. That’s when things started going south. It was obvious the breadsticks were reheated from the day before. I didn’t say anything to the waiter. I used to be a waitress in High School, it’s never the waiter/waitresses fault when the food is less than awesome. I kept saying, “I can make better breadsticks than this…”

He then brought out the salad. My favorite part. It was good, but honestly, I kept saying, “I could make this at home…”

We each ordered the same thing(we’re so cool),a trio of different Italian dishes. It was good, but not the amazing pasta I had remembered from years before. I kept thinking, “I could make this stuff at home…”

The Bearded Man complained that his chair was hard. Then it happened. We gave each other a knowing look. We’re getting old way too young. I had to wonder if the food was really the issue, or have I gotten too cheap to spend that much on dinner and enjoy it. Yes, 40 dollars is a lot in my opinion. I could make pasta and reheated breadsticks for a week on that. So my question is, has anyone else experienced this? Is there hope for us? Will eating at a restaurant ever be the same again? I used to joke that we never went out because my Husband was too cheap. Now I realize it’s me. I’m cheap…and maybe a little old. 

My handsome date. I wonder if anyone is ever scared when he rolls up in somewhere? 

9 Reasons to Marry a Weirdo


It’s no secret that when people start dating, they want the “fun” person who tends to be the center of attention. I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with those people, but they aren’t the only ones with a lot to offer. Often, when you’re the quiet type, you get overlooked, and labeled as a “weirdo.” Don’t even lie and act like you haven’t said that about me at one time or another….Jesus is watching. So before you rule out dating the quiet weirdo, let’s discuss some advantages;

1. No one will try to steal me from you. 

I can’t make eye contact with another human being long enough for that to happen. Besides, most people don’t even realize I exist. 

2. I’ll never walk out on you.

It was hard enough finding you. Also, I don’t like leaving the house. 

3. Life with me is hilarious.

Not as in an intentional comedian funny. But a wrong place at the wrong time, toilet paper on my shoe kind of funny. Life with me is a lot of laughs, sadly at my expense. 

4. I’m observant. 

The thing about being a weirdo, is it leaves me plenty of time to observe. Is that creepy? Well, I’ll observe you, and pay attention to your likes and dislikes. I’ll use that to make you very happy. 

5. I’m a cheap date.

Since going out in public isn’t always a risk I’m willing to take, I’m fine with Netlfix and pizza at home. Actually, that sounds heavenly. 

6. Being a wallflower is underrated.

Seriously, spend some time in the corner with me. Weddings are a hoot. People take that “dance like no one is watching” advice literally. Everyone is getting tipsy except us. After awhile, it’s like watching a bunch of monkeys in a zoo. It’s almost as bad as the prom, except now the alcohol and tanning bed abuse is evident. I’ll slow dance with you a couple times, but I’m not joining the circus. 

7. Being invisible has its advantages. 

So it’s no secret that weirdos aren’t exactly the star of the show. That’s ok! We see and learn so much about people and the world, because we aren’t constantly blathering on just hear ourselves. We tend to be better listeners. We can sneak in and out of social functions like ninjas. Also, see point number 1. 

8. I mean what I say. 

I don’t spend a lot of time filling up a room with empty words and talking over other people. Sometimes people that talk too much, don’t even make sense or realize half of what they’re spouting off. I may struggle with the right words, but if I say something, it’s because it’s on my heart. You’ll never have to worry about your brain turning to mush or your eyes glazing over because I don’t know when to put a cork in it. 

9. I can cook. 

All those years staying at home on Saturday nights finally paid off. Cooking is becoming a lost art. Seriously, marry someone that can cook, or you’re going to be eating a lot of frozen pizza. 

I’m thankful that I found someone whose weirdness *almost* matches my own. 10 years, and 3 kids in, we are still crazy about each other. He’s the peanut butter to my jelly. You might be making fun of us, but that’s ok, because we’re sitting in the corner making fun of you. 

Share with a weirdo you love! 💜💜

Photo credit goes to the amazing Margi, at http://www.margielizabethphotography.com/