When I started blogging, I decided that I’d never write out of obligation, just for the sake of posting every day. I don’t want this blog to be full of “fluff.” This summer was great, but left me a little worn down and with not much to say…Until…
Well, I turn 30 tomorrow, and I have a lot to say about it.
Now, to all of you in your 40’s, 50’s and beyond, 30 is laughable. But today, I’m not laughing.
Nor was I was this morning, when I spent a lot of time moping around. I’m so ashamed…
The Bearded Man finally called me out on it. He’ll be 40 in February, so he has little sympathy for my plight. He asked what was stressing me out so much, and it was hard to pinpoint exactly what it was. I shared that a lot of it was knowing that my “prime” is over. My prime childbearing years are coming to an end in 5-10 years. I’ll never look as good as I did “back then”, and frankly I didn’t even look that good back then. 😂 Can I have a do over?
Don’t even get me started on the rapid slowing of my metabolism, and the collection of extra weight in the wrong places. I shared with my healthcare provider recently, that losing weight is so stinkin’ hard compared to 5-10 years ago. She gave me a knowing nod. When I shared my anxieties with The Bearded Man, he quickly replied in his southern accent, “Babe, just cuz ya turn 30, doesn’t mean ya gotta let yourself go!” He’s so right. He loves me no matter what, but I don’t have to let myself go. I’ll just have to walk a little more. Cut back on portions. Be more vigilant with the anti-aging products. Please tell that’s all I need to do…😊
I think my anxieties are stemming from feeling like it’s all “downhill” from here. I’m getting older. My kids are growing up way too fast. We haven’t built our dream house yet. We aren’t debt free yet. I haven’t done this or that…
But then, God gently started reminding me of all that I have accomplished with His grace and mercy.
I’ve had the privilege of walking with God most of my life. He’s never abandoned me, even when I pushed Him away. He’s kept His loving hand on my life, even when I’ve struggled with fear and unbelief. Amazing love.
I’ve been married to the love of my life for almost 10 years. We’ve surpassed the national average on how long most marriages last. We have our problems, but I can honestly say, marriage is getting better everyday. He loves me unconditionally and has never threatened to leave. I would’ve left me a long time ago. My heart still flutters a little when his truck pulls in the driveway in the evenings. There’s nothing like curling up with him at the end of a hard day.
I’ve been blessed with 3 beautiful children on this Earth and 1 in heaven. Many women at my age are still questioning whether they will ever get to be Mother’s. My children make me crazy and bring me so much joy and happiness. I became a Mom at 22, and it was the best day of my life.
There’s no doubt in my mind, that God made me a to be a Mother. We ordered Chinese tonight, and ate it outside to soak up the beautiful weather. These kiddos are so precious, and I can’t imagine life without them.
I don’t have a brag worthy career, or a big pay-check, but I get to be both their Mother and their Educator. That is such a privilege, and I don’t take it lightly. Homeschooling is hard, and the paycheck stinks, but I am so incredibly blessed to be able to do it.
I don’t have the body of my dreams, and it’s not likely I will anytime soon, but I’m healthy. I can take care of my kids, clean the house, go for walks, even run a little (just don’t make me), and I’m just fine. Praise God for good health, because not everyone has that in their lives.
We may not have built our dream home, but we own a home. That in itself is a huge blessing and accomplishment. It keeps us safe and warm, and is full of laughter and too many toys. I wouldn’t have it any other way.
We aren’t debt free yet, partly to our bad choices and partly to circumstances beyond our control, but we are working towards it together. We have a common goal in mind, and don’t fight about money. We just don’t have any. 😎
I haven’t traveled as many places as I imagined I would, but I have built a life I don’t feel like I need a vacation from. Sure, we enjoy the occasional weekend trip, but my life isn’t a constant state of waiting to “get away from it all.”
We have friends and family that love and support us. I don’t surround myself with a slew of people, but have built quality relationships.
By posting all of this, I’m not trying to humble-brag, but genuinely give God the glory for what He has allowed in my 30 years. I know with His grace and mercy, my future doesn’t have to go “downhill” but as Tim McGraw once sang, “My next 30 years will be the best years of my life!”
That will be in your head all evening now. You’re welcome.
Here’s to turning 30!